over my head, instead of me her.

for some reason the sound of your voice irritates me.
i find myself angry when someone says youre name, i listen as they tell me youre same ols silly game. the songs you sweetly sang in my ears,but when she repeats it. it seems to bring me to tears.i wish i could rewind the time and change the unfortunate day that we met. see youre the one one person i would love to forget, but you seem to find youre way back into my life.Calling me the wife but you stay out with her all night.I wouldnt dare any try to lie that i didnt love you at one point i did. My confessions are taking a toll on me.like a glass ready to be spilled, but would be even harder cleaning up. If i wanted to tell you i wouldnt and if i could i shouldnt. because my thought might change my existence would alter my past and possibly change my future.So like i said you walked into my life and you changed me completley, i feel like a different person and you intrigued me to get to know more about you.Now when we are face to face when i look into your eyesi dont see anything just merely someone staring back at me. so spit youre silly game and make her smile and just maybe just for once in my existing lifestyle i will be back to the same girl i was before i met you afterwhile

Never Again. nope.

this silence between us, is anchoring my heart to deep watery depths of pain and broken hearts.
slowly killing me softly, my hear was yours for the taking, Not that i give it away, but a fight to get in and to get out.
dragging me into an epitome of darkness.
i danced to your drums, you were the one who kept my soul alive
every notefelt like my heartbeat and you kept me going.
but suddenly i heard your differnce i felt your change
the notes and rythms were no longer the same
spinning downwards until i felt as if no more
so, so vulnerable, my heart was on my sleeve
never tending to my wounds in the light, only to cry in the midnight hour as they say
never thought i would see myself at this level again
i guess i was lost in the cosmos
caught up in this thing called love
who was he to make a fool of me?
who are you?
who was i?
only to find you killing me softly.

Sometimes i wish people would cherish and hold on to what they have ecspecially loved ones. dont treat them bad just love and cherish them. some time i wish i could rewind time and just have a clean slate. some days i miss him sooooo much i just want to cry but im a warrior i carry myself on day by day telling myself im okay but i am not. teach me to be a girl than a warrior some days, i may have the hairdos and looks but its all a front at the end of the day a warrior is all im left with.some times i just want to abandon it all and run and hide it hurts so much, but i am a warrior. Rossand Hargrove it was him time to go but i didnt understand why at the time, now he transcended to my guardian angel i now know why.its his time to lead me in the right direction. but the day he died December 27, 2000 and the day he was buried December 28 2000, when i was told i felt like my whole world crashed i felt liked nobody cared anymore and just why did this happen to me. but now i became the warrior i am and i am not alone so please lead me in the right direction and i love you soooo much i love you daddy i just wanted to say it one more time but now here it is R.I.P Rossand Auguste-Hargrove


sometimes people ask why i am the i am because there is no other way to be. i love music its the only thing that keeps me moving through the day.sometimes you may think im the odd one in the bunch but just think im two steps ahead of all of you. sometimes i feel like i can do bad all by myself because no one can even relate to me anymore. the only things im able to talk through are poetry because it flows much easier, dance because i can flow much easier.drumming because the drums talk to my soul nothing much more. not even enough for me to keep going. you never let anyone see you cry, never let someone tell you different from what you already know.

• skinny legs, bigger breastis all they want to seetiny waist and thinner armsis the complete opposite of methe pressure to be perfectis slowly closing inan utter suffocation that doesnt seem to endsociety is telling mebeauty is thinand if i choose to starve myself perfection is what i win shoving things down my throat will get me what i want,bring me closer to that goal of a body i can flaunt society is constantly telling us beauty is a prize measured in the size of your breast, hips and thighs but let me tell you here and now no good will come from that it will seem okay at first but it will soon become a trap a disease that clouds the mind and believes what is untrue believes your never good enough no matter what you do there is one beauty i knowits the greatest prize of all its learning to accept yourselfimperfections, flaws and allthe beauty that really mattersit lies in our heart, our soul, our core because when you learn to love what s on the insideyou love whats on the outside even more

Or was it love?

as the rain splatters against my windowpane, cold air hits my arm giving me chills. i wonder of a significant other, swagger is smooth, tall and handsome, his soul merely beautiful. the sun returns cold but warm and securing as i feel when im with you. the sun penetrates my heart as you do when you look at me, hide behid a cloud im scared you will hurt me. when you do look at me i look away as if i will find my answer on the ceiling, he must have been staring so yes if you must search me, search me to find my heart, my spirit, my soul because it all belongs to you i get giddy , radiant glowing just when you name crosses my mind i guess you must be something special because, when i do muster up the courage to look you in your eyes i see a reflection, the truth, i see eternity.